Lesson Learned

5 has started Kindergarten. I feel bad that I have not endured the emotional outburst that several parents mention as a rite of passage around this time.  Maybe it's because she was in Transitional Kindergarten last year or maybe it's because this child never stops talking and to be honest my ears can use a 4 hour break each day.

Don't get me wrong, I love her with a love that is unparalleled in time or space. I recognize within her a kindred spirit and admire her wild child ways. Most days her constant stream of chatter is one of her more endearing traits. I learn so much from the way she interprets the world around us.

Other times there is not enough coffee in the world for me to keep up and the onslaught is overwhelming, especially if my own monkey brain is spinning. The demand for explanations and the expectation that I have all the answers is daunting. She is not satisfied with a simple "I do not know." or "That's just the way it is, honey." I love this about her. It pushes me to investigate, to think critically, to teach her how to find the answers she requires.

But sometimes there are questions I truly struggle with like, "Mama, why is that man's skin different than ours?" Do I explain about melanin? Delve into race relations? Have a quick geography lesson? Act embarrassed in case he overheard and shush her furiously? I wish I could say it was the first option, but I think we all know the latter was my automatic default.

The truth is, I'm the one who needs answers and if I just take a breath and listen closely she is chock-full of them.

5: "Mama, some people's eyes are different."

Me: "Um, " blushing and stammering, "Yeah, so, um...well, you see.."

5: "Because we don't all see things the same way."

Mind.  Blown.

She doesn't have these society taught misconceptions or prejudices about differences. She is just curious and I am the one who need to follow her lead sometimes about what is appropriate and inappropriate. Because by shushing her and acting like something is wrong, I am inadvertently teaching her that these differences are shameful.

So I'm truly glad that 5 started Kindergarten.  I am learning so much.

It reminded me of this essay from one of my favorite authors:

All I Really Need To Know
I Learned In Kindergarten

by Robert Fulghum

- an excerpt from the book, All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten



All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten.
ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW about how to live and what to do
and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not
at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the
sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:


Share everything.

Play fair.

Don't hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don't take things that aren't yours.

Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life - learn some and think some
and draw and paint and sing and dance and play
and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic,
hold hands, and stick together.

Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup:
The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody
really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even
the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die.
So do we.

And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books
and the first word you learned - the biggest
word of all - LOOK.



Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.
The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation.
Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any of those items and extrapolate it into
sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your
family life or your work or your government or
your world and it holds true and clear and firm.
Think what a better world it would be if
all - the whole world - had cookies and milk about
three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with
our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments
had a basic policy to always put thing back where
they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you
are - when you go out into the world, it is best
to hold hands and stick together.

© Robert Fulghum, 1990.
Found in Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten, Villard Books: New York, 1990, page 6-7.

What I Did This Summer

I took a break from blogging and writing this summer to fully enjoy time with my husband and daughters.  It would be great to catch you all up on what we did and even include pictures, but every time I sit down to do that it feels like a school project or one of those god awful Christmas letters. You know the ones.  I myself have been guilty of writing those in the past, so no judgement, but let's just agree to stop.  We all have Facebook now and we see little Suzie's gymnastics accomplishments and do not require a further detailed report in writing. She's awesome.  Remember? We commented that in your post in September. Happy Holidays, Love Scrooge.

Wow.  Sorry.  It got judgy. Honestly, I love those letters.  I do.  I can't get enough of Suzie.

Moving along.

I was trying to sum up this summer and what we did. I made a list of camps, outings, and where we went on vacation, but what does that tell you? Then I thought about what we really truly did this summer and you know what I came up with-Memories.  We made memories.

A new round of family inside jokes that will make us shoot Dr.Pepper through our noses while you look on in confused wonder.

My husband and I shared stories from when we were children on summer vacation with our parents. We brought to life family members who have since passed on through our vivid recollections and anecdotes.

11 taught 5 how to tie her shoes in 40 minutes when I had been working with her for 3 months.

5 faced her fear of putting her face underwater and now swims like a seal.

11 taught us Cat's Cradle and we watched Youtube Videos and all learned Jacob's Ladder together.

A trip to Urgent Care brought us together and honed our teamwork skills, but I don't recommend it.

Several photos, artwork and crafts strewn around the house to remind us for years to come of the fun we had.

And the knowledge that one day our girls will be telling their families about the things they did growing up.  They won't remember the money we spent on souvenirs, but they will remember singing in the car and playing iSpy. To me, that is priceless.

Snail Mail

I recently became a member of #letterclub. More specifically, globalpenfriends.net.au

It is a lovely group of people who are adults and remember the fun of having pen pals, wishing to experience the rush of snail mail again. Yes, I have some friends and family that I already write to, but I enjoy meeting new people and there is something much more personal about a letter than email or text.

(Image from Google)

I spent a week curating our twitter handle @letterclub and really enjoyed finding things of my own and a lot more form Pinterest to share. I was even inspired to make my own writing center.

I now have pen pals in Australia, England and Canada.

I collect snail mail. For me, rereading letters from people you love who have passed on is like hearing their voice again while holding their hand. I treasure that. I also feel that I've gotten to know my ancestors who died before I was born by reading their correspondence.

Some of my snail mail on display.

Postcards from friends and family.

These postcards depict the lead & zinc mines where my grandpa worked with Mickey Mantle's dad.

Postcards from my parents.

My Great Grandmother's Collection of Postcards.

Postcard art by my sister who passed away in 2012.

Nothing brightens my day more than looking through a stack of bills and finding the familiar slant of a friend's hand. I like to get a cup of coffee or tea or sometimes even a glass of wine and take my time perusing the letter like having a conversation. Sometimes I write back straight away, but usually I leave it to simmer, reading the letter a few more times and then responding. I like to choose the stationery for the person keeping their likes and dislikes in mind. One of my favorite things to do is make my own cards and personalize the missive in some way. 

Happy Writing!