Saturday, November 15, 2014

Tree-Hugger

Today I hugged a tree. Not just any old tree, but a Giant Redwood. I needed that hug. This weekend, in particular this Sunday, marks the second anniversary of my sister’s death. I wanted to do something special to honor her. Something to show that even if some days it felt like I wanted to give up on life that I would keep going on and find new ways to experience the joy of being alive and express my gratitude for this gift.


Look at that dirty tree-hugging hippie!



We live in Redwood City and there are some lovely redwoods nearby, but those simply would not do on this occasion. Ever since I was little I have wanted to see the Redwood you can drive through. (It turns out there are three of them in California.) I had seen a picture of it in a magazine and just thought it was amazing. So we loaded up in the car and drove a scenic 5 hours north to Humboldt Redwoods State Park to the Avenue of the Giants.

Wow.

“With an average lifespan of 500-700 years, coast redwoods can live to more than 2,000 years and grow to over 360 feet in height.” (www.redwoods.info)


Checked this one off my list.

I couldn’t help but think back to a yoga class a year or so ago and the teacher asked what we would want our energy to go to or be "recycled" as when we die. Various images flickered through my mind, a majestic eagle, fierce tiger, the untamed wind and finally the sturdy redwood. As soon as I thought of the redwood, I knew it was my answer.

Since then I’ve often thought, what is wrong with me? How boring to long to be a tree. I dearly want to yearn to be the wind, flying free, seeing the world, but I need a home to settle in or my soul is anxious. Why not an eagle then? Soaring high in the sky and yet coming home to a nest. Eagles are a proud symbol of freedom for sure, but they are predatory and I do not want to live a life of preying on others for my sustenance. Tigers are gorgeous creatures, but I do not desire to be prized for my pelt, conquered for sport, or caged to be looked upon and admired.

The redwood stands tall. It provides a home to others. The wind whispers the secrets of the world into the treetop. Centuries pass and it endures. When it inevitably does come tumbling down the root system continues to provide nourishment for numerous offspring. Fallen and broken it is still a thing of beauty.


 
Standing inside a redwood.

I would tell my sister this and she would say, “That’s interesting.” She might roll her eyes and she would definitely crack a joke about me wanting to be a giant redwood because I have a complex about being the shortest in the family (Hey, I’m still taller than Grandma Bonnie was…I think...). Then she’d say, “Hey, have you heard this song?” and I'd soon have another new band to love.


My "little" sister, Amy Jo.


In memory of my amazing sister, I would encourage everyone to listen to her favorite song, "The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World, donate to braintumor.org or The American Cancer Society, and eat some sushi washed down with a Coke. 

Not into sushi? Play a flute, turn a blank canvas into a work of art, adopt an animal or at the very least...go hug a tree.


                                               Amy Jo Turner 09-03-1984 to 11-16-2012



Holding my sister's artistic hand.






Saturday, October 18, 2014

Just Another Day at the Beach



Recently, I’ve had a lot of upheaval in my life.  Moving halfway across the country, leaving behind almost everyone and everything I knew, not to mention quitting a career that has been my identity for nearly half my life.

Adjusting to my new surroundings has been an ongoing process and this Saturday I decided I needed some me time.  What better place to clear my head than a day at the beach? It was a beautiful sunny California day, perfect swimsuit weather, which meant a long line of cars on the highway.  I decided to steer clear of the more popular spots and picked a place I had not tried before. From where I parked it looked perfect. I could see less than 10 people and a wide expanse of pristine beach. As I started down the trail with my polka dot beach bag and soy caramel macchiato I felt supremely confident.



I soon found the path I choose was incredibly difficult, nearly impossible and downright dangerous. Scratches from the bramble adorned my bare legs. At times the brush was taller than me and I had no idea if I was getting any closer to where I was meant to be. Several times I thought about turning back, but then I would catch a glimpse of the ocean waves and be spurned forward in my haste to reach the shore. The view was deceptive. My goal seemed so close and the frustration I felt at how long it was taking to get there was building until suddenly an opening appeared and I was there.




Only when I reached my destination did I realize there was another more direct path. ‘Silly girl’, I thought and chalked it up to experience. At least the way out would be easy. The longer I sat enjoying the view though the more I began to notice something. People on that path were giving up halfway down. Scared by what lay ahead. Not trusting themselves to make it. Perhaps they decided to go to a more crowded beach with easier access. In my ignorance, I had just kept going until I found myself somewhere amazing. A place where I knew I belonged and never wanted to leave.

I wanted to cheer those that paused, looked around, assessed the obstacles and continued down the steep terrain. Maybe they had been here before. Maybe they just had a feeling it would be worth it. Maybe the ocean waves were calling their names and there was no option of turning back.

The journey out was intimidating. I understood why some people had simply turned around and left. There was a sharp nearly vertical incline at one point. A sturdy rope stood ready to assist. I got to the top only to find it was tied to a small shrub. Trust in the one who tied the knot. Trust in the roots that kept the shrub anchored. Trust I didn't know I needed, but was there all along. Trust that it will all work out.










I still have the wounds from my journey and the memory of the difficulty times, but I wouldn’t trade the outcome for anything. Isn’t that true of most worthy endeavors?






Sunday, September 14, 2014

I've Got To Admit It's Getting Better

I'm writing and I'm doing yoga.

This is big.

This is good.

Maybe, I am back.

If I can get myself up and running (literally) then I might feel like me again.

For now, I am walking. Baby steps. Trying to give myself credit for once instead of continuously demanding more. I would never talk to to my worst enemy the way I talk to myself.

I did some pushups today. Proper pushups. Not those modified so-called girl pushups.In fact, when I was a girl I took Tae Kwon Do so I did knuckle pushups. Those are my kind of "girl" pushups.

This has been a difficult week.  A week where we have seen the dark side of humanity. Wife beating, child beating, beheadings... I know this happens daily and goes unreported, but the national attention really gets everyone talking about it. I do not claim to know any of the answers. I only know that my heart hurts and I tend to go to that gloomy place where I feel like humanity is a bit of a lost cause.

It's not though. The sheer number of people speaking out against these atrocities is evidence that we will not stand by and let the status quo continue.  This gives me hope.

Hope is a good thing.

So I am not going to forget the events of the world, but I am going to realize that I cannot take the weight of the world on my shoulders or control the actions of others. I am going to have hope that by lifting our voices together it can and will make a difference.

Until then I'm going to keep on listening to music and dancing like a mad woman and be very grateful I live in a world where this happened!




Sunday, August 24, 2014

EARTHQUAKE!!!


The largest earthquake to hit the Bay Area since 1989 and I slept through it! 

Our dog, Strawberry, woke me up barking like mad, but by the time I got up to check on her everything was normal

I guess all those Oklahoma earthquakes got us used to the earth moving beneath us. 

All pictures, dishes, knick knacks and plants are in their proper places. 

Unfortunately there have been a lot of properties damaged and several non-life threatening injuries. 

I am just hoping for no large aftershocks!!!

This picture I saw on the news and on Twitter shook me. All those wine bottles in need of rescue...




Saturday, August 23, 2014

Vegan Comfort Food

Tonight I veganized IKEA's veggie medallions and used some overripe bananas to make vegan chocolate banana muffins. 

They turned out really well! 

I used this recipe for the veggie medallions, but substituted Ener-G egg replacer for the 4 eggs and used vegan shredded mozzarella instead of Parmesan. My husband loved them! 


For the muffins, I found this recipe. 


Seriously, hands down, best muffins I've ever made. I used almond milk instead of soy because that is what I had on hand. I also added 2 TBSP of Ghirardelli unsweetened cocoa powder and used chocolate chunks instead of chips. Moist and chocolate yumminess. 

Not all of my adventures in cooking turn out so well, but these were definitely blog worthy. 

ALS Ice Bucket Challenge at the beach

Here is my contribution to raise awareness. Yes, I donated. Yes, I used a bucket of water from the ocean and put it back in the ocean along with the ice. Since I embrace a vegan lifestyle, I have already done quite a bit for water conservation so I feel ok about this. :-) 

Thrift Store Dog Bed

I like making things. I especially like making things out of other things. Therefore, this project was perfect for me. 

Like many of my previous projects, this one started with a trip to the Habitat for Humanity ReStore. The one in Redwood City is slightly bigger than the one in Ponca City. In fact, I'm fairly certain I could have easily and thriftily furnished our entire apartment with their selection. 

Instead I went in search of an end table. I really wanted fancier legs, but for $15.00 this one worked perfectly. 



To protect the carpet, I used puppy pads.  I had to remove the drawer and then began painting it my "happy" color. 



As you can see, the dog looks perfectly content on the couch. However, once I put the finishing touches on she seemed to make it get own. Strawberry is such a princess! 

The tatting/lace/bow were made by my Great Grandmother. I'm not sure what she would think about it being used for this purpose. It was just sitting in a basket though so I thought, 'Why not?'.


I thought about hot gluing buttons or perhaps shells on the bed, but so far I like it simple. What do you think? 

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Smiling Selfies: The Untold Story

The problem with social media is that we mostly present our very best selves. That can lead to unintentionally making others feel bad about whatever they may be going through and possibly isolate those who are struggling more. No one wants to be a "Debbie Downer", but I think it's important to sometimes show another side. 

As I sit in my parent's living room looking at the mantel where my sister's ashes sit in a jade container and I face the reality of leaving my daughter halfway across the country with her dad for the school year, I get it Robin, I get it. I am in no way comparing my demons to his, no one can truly know someone else's pain. I just know there have been too many times throughout my life when I have felt an overwhelming sadness and fear I will never truly be happy again. 

Then I recall an hour ago watching my daughters swim in the pool while listening to the Beatles. The pure joy on their faces. The cool breeze on a warm day. "Love Me Do" in the air. I don't want to miss a moment like that. No matter how bad it gets sometimes it's living for the next "moment" that gets me through. 

Then Emmett, my parent's boxer, licks my foot as if to say, "Life is good and your feet are tasty." Silly lovable dog. 

Counseling has helped. Medications have helped. Surrounding myself with supportive people helps a lot. But in the truly dark times nothing helps me except remembering those moments. Snapshots of happiness that keep hope alive that more of these moments exist in the future. I have been fortunate that anxiety filled nights, sobbing and gulping at the air because I can't breathe have been followed by mornings where things seem bearable enough to get through another day. For those that these feelings last for days and weeks on end, I cannot imagine the pain and darkness. 

Things that help me like running, yoga and writing seem impossible when you can't even get out of bed or look at yourself in the mirror without loathing. Who am I to enjoy life? What have I done to deserve a moment of joy? 

The thing is none of us are worthy of this beauty that is life and yet all of us are equally and utterly deserving of every day we get. 

The truth is, it's just not always smiley in #selfie world. 





Shabby Housewife


I think I should have called this blog "The Shabby Housewife". With this move came the opportunity for me to stay at home. I am very grateful for this time with my daughters, but it is a huge adjustment after working full time as a Registered Nurse for 17 years! I love being a nurse and helping people. It's a very selfish do goody feeling you get having the knowledge and skills to make someone's life just a little better. 

But here I am, stay at home mom (A huge and very important job that I am blessed to have!). I have used the move and getting things in order to mostly just scrape by without a routine. I think that needs to change. Suggestions welcome!

Apparently it can't all be making chocolate chip pancakes and watching Bewitched, so today I did some ironing which is honestly my least favorite chore. I would scrub 100 frat house toliets before I had to iron 1 shirt if that was an option. Seriously. I muddled through and I think my husband will look presentable. 

Then I made the monumental effort to make my bed. Think I'm joking? 



My dog, Strawberry, being helpful. 
Now look here, Strawberry, part of my nurses' training was learning how to make a bed with someone in it. I will not be tharwted!
Woot! Success! 

Now the girls and I are going swimming. 

Monday, August 4, 2014

Alcatraz and Angel Island

This weekend we crossed one of the things off the 10 y/o's wish list by going to Alcatraz. We had been on the Bay Cruise (which is awesome) last year, but we wanted to actually tour "The Rock".

ProTip: They are not joking when they say to book your tickets early. We really only cared about Alcatraz, but to get the date we wanted the only tour available was the longer more expensive combo your that included Angel Island. In retrospect, I'm glad it worked out that way. Angel Island is beautiful and has an interesting history of its own. 

Angel Island


Alcatraz



Monday, July 28, 2014

Getting Crafty!

My girls love crafts and I love cheap ways to keep them entertained. Plus,  I really feel there is something uplifting and confidence boosting about creating something with your own hands. 

We have a wooden country style wall coatrack. I think I picked it up at a garage sale for a couple bucks 10 years ago or it may have been a castoff from my parents. It went ok and was useful in our old historic home, but it needed updating if we were going to keep it here in California. 

We started at Home Depot and bought a small pot of my "happy color" (Behr's Island Oasis) for less than $3.00. A couple of sponge brushes at 79¢ each and our free sea treasures that we've found at various California beaches. I also had some starfish from beach decor/crafts that I did in college (ages ago!) 

The girls were really excited about this craft, but waited patiently for the rest of the unpacking to be finished so I could unearth our glue guns!  

Their patience paid off because I also found some wooden hearts that I had painted with polka dots and cow patterns about 5 years ago. I let them paint over and decorate them too. 

It was loads of fun and I love the end results! 

My 10y/o found some pipe cleaners in the craft box too. She made these flowers which I think are brilliant. 
 

More to come soon I'm sure! 

Weekend Bay Area Fun

2 weeks in and we're starting to get the feel of this amazing place. Our family enjoyed the Redwood City Blues Festival on Saturday and the Berkeley Kite Festival on Sunday. So many awesome booths of handmade and fun items and too many delicious foods to choose from on hand. The girls were able to make their own kites for free and they flew them along with hundreds of others. I could not even begin to capture the maginificant beauty of the kites or the great Blues music with my pictures. 

Downtown Redwood City Blues Festival

Berkeley Kite Festival near Golden Gate Fields 

I find out about these events mostly through Bay Area Kids Fun on Twitter: @SFBayAreaKidFun 
and on Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=185971281462580

So helpful! 

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Half Moon Bay, California: A Love Letter

During previous visits, and even now that we have moved, Half Moon Bay is one of my favorite places! As soon as I laid eyes on those pumpkin fields I was sold. Seeing horses by the beach didn't hurt either. I told everyone back home that Half Moon Bay is like living in Oklahoma...if Oklahoma had an ocean, of course! 

The charm does not lessen the more I see of it. I am convinced I may end up there permanently if I'm lucky. 

Fresh cut flowers and the best honey anywhere, hands down. The lemons from the roadside stand taste like pure sunshine. I use them to make homemade lemonade. Happiness in a glass. 

Roadside Bounty:


I love the beach there too, although we had to go on up to dog friendly Montara State Beach when we took our Frenchie, Strawberry. 

Half Moon Bay State Beach:

Montara State Beach:

Pumpkin field last fall:



Exploring the Bay Area

So far we have tackled a little bit of Santa Cruz and enjoyed the wharf and beaches. We will go back for Boardwalk fun another day. 


The Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum at San Jose was fabulous. Mummies, mummies, mummies! Lots of cat mummies, human mummies and a couple of baby alligator mummies. Even a mummified catfish! We learned a lot too. Did you know wealthy Egyptian women kept gazelles as beloved pets? The girls loved it! 

We visited tidal pools at Moss Beach. Took nothing and left nothing. We saw crabs and a whole lot of seals. 

Traveling on up Highway 1 we came to Pacifica. So many people were surfing. We definitely need to take that hobby up!
 
My eldest daughter created a lovely homage that pretty much sums up how we feel about California.